When I see these two pictures at first, I feel that they are so beautiful in these pictures. Everyone wants to be beautiful when you take pictures. They have to make up and let them become prettier. Therefore, maybe they use different ways to look well.
In my point, I believe that no matter whom you are, you always want to become beautiful. Maybe they want everybody know him or her, so they make up. Another reason is that they date with her boyfriends; they have to make up and let themselves more confident. Take my friend, Amy, example, she always likes to take pictures, but they have to make up before she takes it. Although it doesn’t matter for other people, it’s a big problem for my friend.
As long as you don’t hurt other people, you can do anything you want to do. We must respect other people mind.
Hi Jessica,
回覆刪除Well, you need to pay attention to your command of pronouns whenever you attempt to use them.
Please kindly revise your article by fixing the following mistakes:
1. Everyone wants to be beautiful when you take pictures請改成: Everyone wants to look good on pictures.
2.Therefore, maybe they use different ways to look well. 這一句的轉折跟第一段合不起來，請想一想把它改順。
3. In my point, I believe that no matter whom you are, you always want to become beautiful. 請把whom改掉，它在這兒不是受詞。become改成look文意更適合。
4. Maybe they want everybody know him or her, so they make up. 可以請你好心的跟我說這裏突然跳出來的人稱代名詞they是誰嗎????????????????????(不是按鍵卡到)。而複數的they跟單數的him/her有什麼關係嗎???
5. Another reason is that they date with her boyfriends. 一樣的代名詞問題呦!
6. they have to make up and let themselves more confident你需要加個feel
7. Take my friend, Amy, example, she always likes to take pictures, but they have to make up before she takes it. 這裡的they是指??it又是指??
8. We must respect other people mind. 這裡的mind用的不對，另外people要改成people's
Finally, could you kindly choose 較大的字體 so that an old reader like me can read your article more clearly? Thank you! If you don't know how to do it, please ask me or others. Thanks!