2010年5月14日 星期五

labor education

There us a special culture in Chaoyan. When you are a freshman in Chaoyan university, you must do for one year. There are six times in total. You can pick time what you want. If you can’t do labor education, you have to call phone number to your leader and leave for.
In my opinion, I disagree that a freshman has to do labor education. There are three reasons to support my concept.
The first reason is time. Although we can pick time what we want at first, actually we have to cast lots at the end. If you do labor education in the mornings, you have to get up early. If you do it in the evenings, you have to stay at school all day because of labor education.
The second reasons are place. When you pick your time in the afternoons and you have to sweep floor in the outside, you must get sunburn. Or you maybe clean toilet and you will smell something bad.
The third reasons are environment. Some people sweep in the outside. I think that it is too dangerous to sweep because there are many cars. When you sweep it outside, maybe you will suck something bad in your body.
Every one has different opinions. In short, I disagree to do labor education because we reduce many troubles in my university life.

2 則留言:

  1. Hi 潔西卡桂真,

    你的body paragraph組織看似很好,有條有理, 但是比較美中不足的事是,對於labor education的時段優點分析是覺得比較沒有那麼完全的給它切題說。這樣的寫法比較像是"請分析你對不同時段勞動教育的看法"或"請談論你最喜歡哪個時段的勞動教育並說明原因。"
    題目是要求你對labor education的看法, 但是分析時段的缺點並沒有真的提出你對labor education的看法。這就好像請你說明你對學生吃漢堡當正餐的看法,然後你沒有跟我說吃漢堡的優缺點,你只分析漢堡有三層,第一層是麵包,鬆鬆的蓬蓬的,咬起來軟軟的,第
    二層有黃瓜跟肉,吃起來脆中帶肉感,最後一層跟第一層一樣,不過底部會黑黑的。你覺得...這樣有給它切題嗎?

    你應該說: 吃漢堡固然營養不均衡,但由於漢堡速食可以節省時間而吃得飽,又好吃,所以我贊成吃漢堡當正餐。接著再寫supporting sentences 來支持你的論點。Got it??

    所以你若有空的話就重寫...有空的話啦...可以不寫...不強迫...真的不請迫...有空再寫就好了...真的...真...的...

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  2. 你可以看一下Iris的寫法, 她也是有提到時段問題, 但她寫的方式使她有切題

    http://agnes010.blogspot.com/2010/05/labor-education.html

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